Hellllllo world! Long time, no blog. I guess that would only matter if I actually had any readers... whamps. Well, no worries, I actually like the idea of talking to the abyss... this might be the only way my words don't come back to bite me in the ass. Any who - I guess I'm writing because it has been mooonnnnths and so much has happened and I'm starting to feel like my head might explode.
Since the last time I wrote about my wonderful 4th of July holiday, I have since gotten a new job, a better job, found out I'm pregnant (again), and have been trying to plan this stupid wedding before 'bambino' arrives. Ty and I are better BTW. Most days that is. Now I don't mean to imply that we continue to have had crazy arguments like the 4th (not at all, I'd be long gone if that were the case), but although we've talked about it and put it behind us, we do still have arguments and times when I don't even want to look at him. Now it's just dumb shit and I can't decide if it's my raging hormones or if Ty is really being a dick. All that is still up for debate.
So first things first..NEW JOB! Whoot! Very excited and very proud to say that I've only been with the company for 2 months (approx) and already I'm getting watched for my 1st promotion. :) As exciting as this is for me, I'm beginning to sense some hostility from Ty. I'm doing what I love and he is not, and now I officially make more than him. I can't seem to figure out what it is that has got us 'off kilter' but I think this may or may not be a factor.
#2. Yay! OMG I'm pregnant again! I love the idea of being prego - but geez-la-weez it's not really all that 'fun'. Everyone officially knows that I'm prego and everyone (in my circle) seems pretty excited and happy for me. Sometimes I have to remind myself that I can't talk about it all the time, it gets old people just don't want to hear about it non stop. It's just that I'm super excited and I can't wait to meet my baby. I still have some ways to go though, right now I am 15weeks exactly tomorrow (and risk of m/s has dropped dramatically). :) So this puts me just beginning my 2nd trimester, the "easy trimester"...however just to clarify, the only thing that has gotten better is the fact that I don't feel nauseous as often. But I'm still tired, I'm still grouchy, my boobs are still tender, and to top it off, I still have absolutely NO sex drive. <<< This is also factor #2 for Ty's stank disposition. ...Annnnd I'm over it.
#3 The wedding. I'm remembering all too well why I decided to push the damn thing back a year and just chuck all thoughts of planning this thing out the window. THIS IS SO STINKIN' STRESSFUL! And even more so now that I'm trying to rush everything so that bambino isn't a bastard. I hate it, I hate thinking about planning, I hate calling/emailing people about planning, I hate following up with Ty to find out he's done 0 of the 2 things I asked of him to help out with planning. <<< This is factor #3 for My stank disposition. Basically it all just sucks.
And #4. Back to Bambino. To be 110% honest, I already know raising this child is going to be hellacious. Not because my baby will be hellacious, but because I have different standards for myself and for my children than Ty and it would almost be easier to raise bambino on my own than to argue about how bambino should be raised. Little does Ty know, his vote doesn't really count... or maybe he does know and this is factor #4. ?? Its just that Ty and I come from two very different homes, families, and lifestyles so we don't see eye-to-eye on some things...particularly family values/closeness & child rearing. I don't know, I really don't even care. All I know is that this baby is already the light of my life and the only thing I think about 24/7. This baby already has me wrapped around her (<wishful thinking) finger and there isn't anything I wouldn't do to give this baby everything I had and more. No matter who tries to stand in my way.
Arg! I really don't know what it is that has Ty and I at a stand still. But figuring that out will have to wait for a different night. I'm sleepy now. Bambino doesn't allot me much energy lately and I think I have officially tapped out for today. Till next time...ttfn
