Where do I even begin? i mean my entire holiday weekend started off fine but was then ruined in a matter of 12hrs. Every other 4th of July, my family plans to meet at my mother’s house and grill and cookout. This year was no different as far as plans are concerned. The exception this year, was that my mother had a bug up her butt because her husband, after 3hrs was still MIA. If you personally know me, you know that I despise my mother’s new husband…not because he’s “not my father!” - no that shipped sailed years ago - it's because he is a son of a bitch, because he is a selfish, worthless piece of shit. Anyway, beyond that about mid-way into the afternoon, my mom is completely beside herself, and taking her frustrations out on Jess, Ty & myself. And then what do ya know, lo and behold guess who shows up 5hrs late? Her husband. And guess who also decided to pitch a fit about us having beer in the cooler? That was also my mother’s husband. I guess my biggest issue was how is it that my mother was fine with us ADULTS having a few beers while we cooked and joked around at HER house (yes, her house because she does not live with her husband-they have separate homes) but he comes over and suddenly everything must change? Ugh! I fucking hate him! I hate that he tries to show dominance over my mother and she LETS him! At that point Jess, Ty, and I left the cook out. We didn’t stay to eat, we made plates and took the food and our beer and came back to my house. No my mother hasn’t apologized for being a weak bitch and choosing some man over her children, no she didn’t acknowledge the obvious fact that we were upset. But I guess Jess & I should be used to it by now. All the same, in no time we were all laughing and joking around again…I felt like I had gotten my chillax holiday back. Well that was until a measly game of Asshole went stupidly wrong. Long story short, Ty loss, Jess won and that didn’t go over well. Being super pissed Ty ended up driving off (mind you, we have been drinking allllll day) and when he returned I told him just how stupid that was. This in turn fueled and argument between the two of us. And THIS is where it gets frightening. Sidebar: Ty and I argue. It's no surprise, we dont do it all the time but we do. I am quite the head strong female and I have no problem expressing myself; so when Ty was pissy about what I had to say, it didn’t faze me and I didn’t bite my tongue. The crazy part was Ty’s reaction. He got in my face, an inch away from my nose and proceeded to yell and shout at me. And when I stood up, yelling back, flailing my arms in challenge; he grabbed me, picked me up and carried me away. Literally. And the whole time I’m yelling “put me down”, “get off me”. I was hitting him in his back and pushing my forearm into his throat. The picture I’m painting doesn’t do justice to how enraged and scared I was in that moment. Ty wouldn’t let me go – he wouldn’t let me leave the room, he was pinning me down. The thing is that it went on for another hour and a half. Finally when the yelling stopped I immediately walked away; puffy eyes, horse voice and tear streaked cheeks. I had said I was going to stop smoking but after the day and evening I had been having; i needed one - bad.
In all reality and seriousness: WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!?!
I will not be in an abusive relationship.
I will not be controlled.
Ty and I both apologized that night and promised to never let anger cloud our minds and rule our actions. ABUSE IS A CHOICE - AND I'LL BE DAMNED IF I TOLERATE SOMEONE CHOOSING TO HURT ME. The next day we did nothing but talk more about the incident and how unacceptable it was. In all honesty, I still feel like the issue isn't unresolved. I think we need couples therapy. I mentioned it to Ty but we didn’t go into much depth. But seriously I think we need someone to help us communicate better. And I don’t care if all we get from it is learning to say “I need a time out” and walking away before things escalate into anything emotionally or physically harmful. Any communication progress would make me feel better than fearing that I am potentially with an abusive spouse. I don’t feel like one incident should or can dictate a person’s character, but I won’t sit around and wait for the worst either. We have never, ever, EVER been aggressive like that before, I have no idea where all that came from, but still I can’t ignore it. I don’t want to make a mountain out of a mole hill or over exaggerate the situation…but if it’s not nipped in the bud, then it has the potential of growing into something much worse and in becoming much more harder to escape.
